Why 5 Pounds of Flour Trumps Playdoh, Legos and Batman

I saw this video on Monday  Family Home Destroyed by Avalanche
I immediately had two simultaneous thoughts:
1. Oy.
2. What a great representation of hands on learning!

Now, I’m not suggesting that we all bring in 5 pound bags of flour and encourage our young children to redecorate the living room, however, think about everything this experience taught these little guys. ages 1 and 3.


• Bringing the new bag of flour into the living room (Gross motor, negotiation skills and cooperation)

• Opening the bag (Problem solving skills)

• Moving the flour from the bag to the couch, the windows and the television (Math, engineering and visioning come into play here.)

• Tossing the flour in the air like my brother (Modeling for the 3 year old and repetition for the 1 year old)

• Feeling the flour against my hands, the floor, the couch, etc. (Sensory, fine motor, discovery)

• Sharing our activity with mom (Self esteem, communication)

• Watching mom clean up (Priceless!)

Learning opportunities are everywhere. When the experience is relevant and interesting, the learning takes on a whole new depth.


My only advice to the mom? TOP SHELF.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Not Just Me!

Last month I had a wonderful visit with a day school principal.  We were discussing theories about child development and pedagogy.  This principal shared that her teachers can always tell when a student comes from XYZ preschool, because those children can identify letters and numbers, and have some reading under their belt.

I asked her how she felt about that. Her response was not surprising.  At least not to me.

The children who have these skills prior to kindergarten are indeed aware of letters and numbers and words.  They fare pretty well in kindergarten and first grade classes. However, once these children move to 3rd grade, the school begins to see a sad pattern.  Many of these children have more melt downs and stuggles than their peers, and need some one on one guidance in the next phase of learning.  Why?

Because they didn't get the foundation they needed to learn to cope with school and life.

Negotiation skills, problem solving skills, thinking out of the box and intentional creativity were not a part of their curriculum in their early years, so they didn't have strong experiences with these social/emotional pieces. 

I am highlighting a wonderful post from an early childhood expert on learning through play.  I think you'll like it.  Feel free to share with your friends and families.  More importantly, continue to seek programs that allow children ample time for play, and run away from those programs that promise to have your 4 year old reading.   Really...there's many more valuable lessons one can learn in preschool.


Learning Through Play

We'll call him Vanessa!

Older threes. Gotta love 'em! They play beautifully and seem to enjoy working together.  Some are bossy, some are meek, and others can seem brutal.  What do you expect? They've only been on this planet for three years!

I was lucky enough to collaborate with a few last week.

While hanging out in a classroom, I noticed a small millipede on the carpet. Seeing an opportunity to role model how teachers can encourage scientific reasoning skills, I used my best "Oh, my" voice, went over to the carpet and announced, "Look, I see a creature (and an excellent opportunity for documentation!")

 Funny how that sparked movement in the room.  One teacher grabs the camera, while the other one as well as the director get their notebooks.  Several children come over to look, and while the little guy was still on the carpet I wondered aloud "what should we do with him?"  Someone suggests picking him up and tossing him outside.

"Do we have to?"  That was me.  Not really whining.  OK, a little. I just didn't want this to end so soon.

"No, we can keep him,"  someone says to me. ( I love compassionate people.)

ME: What do I do now?
SOMEONE:  Get a something to lift him up.
ME:  Like what?
SOMEONE:  I know!  Here!

I am given a tool from housekeeping.  Looks like a cross between a plastic spade and a pie knife.  I get the creature onto the knife and lift him up.

ME:  Where to?

ANOTHER SOMEONE:  A bowl!  He needs a bowl.

I am handed a silver salad bowl.  We put him into the bowl, and out of nowhere a rock lands next to him, bounces and hits his teeny little millipede head. What the ???

The 3 year old shotput thrower plops herself down beside me with a huge smile on her face, as if to say, "Yep, I just did that! Did you see that?  And it bounced, too!"

All I can think of at that moment is that there is going to be a group of people protesting outside tomorrow with signs, chanting:  "Don't support this school! They test on millipedes and other small animals."

ME:  Oh my goodness! That landed on his head.
THE  FUTURE OLYMPIAD'S FRIEND:  Don't do that.  You will KILLLLL him!

That seemed to work.  She puts her hand in the bowl as if to take out the rock, then reconsiders and  tries to smush the millipede with her fingers.

Two thoughts occur simultaneously:  1) How did this guy manage to survive the initial blow to the head? and 2) How we are going to handle his funeral?

ME:  Okay, sweetie, we can take a closer look at him once he is in a safer home.  Let's move to the table so everyone can look.




Children learn best when they are excited about their discoveries.


My friend agrees, and we move to higher ground. Everything stops as we all stare at him. A good 10 seconds of staring,  Then, as if a switch went off, the children all started chatting at once.

What can we feed him?  He needs water!  He needs a bed!  He needs toys!  He needs a name!

"I know"! gushes a little girl, "We'll call him Vanessa!" Everyone tries out that name. 'Vanessa!  That's great!" Someone eagerly suggests the name Kelly, but that one didn't seem to catch on.  Vanessa it is!

This period of trying things on continues for a few more minutes.  People bring him food - a plastic carrot?  TOO BIG.  A plastic tomato, maybe?  Still too big.  A plastic strawberry?  Still too big.  BAM!  Another rock tossed into the bowl.  OY.

ME:  Sweetheart, can you please find something soft to toss into the bowl?

She nods and starts looking.

Then someone suggests we cover him. Brilliant idea my friends! I think I actually heard Vanessa cheer from inside the bowl.  The children (I think we have about 6 of them still engaged)  look around and find a jar with a lid. All is silent once more as we watch him get slowly poured into the jar.   When I twist the lid I announce that it is really tight and I wonder if air is able to get in there.

SOMEONE:  He's gonna DIEEEEEE.  He needs AIRRRR!


Another SOMEONE:  I know, I can put a hole in it. (Where do they get this stuff?)

I hand her the jar with the lid already on it.  She smiles as if to say, "you amuse me, you sweet, unknowing woman." She asks me to give her just the lid.  Using the spade/plastic knife, she eventually stabs a hole into the lid.  She's 3.  She's brilliant, and persistent, and right now, quite pleased with herself.  At one point we heard her mumble, "If this was a real knife it would work better."  



Ladies and gentlemen, I present our future!





This story goes on for another 7 or 8 minutes.  We'll share more later.  For now, let's unpack what just happened.



Each step of this activity was initiated by the children. My excitement helped fuel theirs, however, at no point did I dismiss their ideas. The millipede had several homes before he was safe in the jar. 

I could have easily grabbed a jar in the beginning, but then we would have lost the experience with the



little rock thrower, (which was valuable, since her friends and teachers needed to see that she wasn't punished for her experiment, but rather accepted as an active participant that needed a little guidance.) 



If I had put the guy in a jar from the get go, would we have had the opportunity to see him crawl and slide down the sides of the bowl?





Could all of our little heads fit over the jar as easily as it did over the open bowl?  How would we all have shared that moment of watching (which led to the feeling of ownership)  if we only could peek into the jar one at a time?



Had I put him the in jar at first, there would have been no way to test the hypotheses of appropriate food size.  We needed to see him next to the carrot and the tomato and strawberry.  While you, my adult learner friend, could tell it was too big, younger learners need that concrete experience in order to understand. And the little surgeon, the one with the knife?  God love her.  She had a plan, and followed through with it.  How often do we stop these experiences in the name of TIME? 



I am grateful to the teachers for allowing me to play in there.  At any point they could have encouraged the children to go back  to their painting or blocks, but they didn't.  They realized, too, that something really cool was happening, and put their planned learning on hold.  Good for them.  And great for the children.  :)







Raising Children with Self Control

I recieved this text the other day from my son Dan:  "NPR is talking about the importance of self control in preschoolers."  Gotta love my son. From the time he was 4 he wanted to be president.  At 6 he told his teacher that instead of making 1 paper apple for the class tree he wanted to make 5.  He told her "I'm a Jensen, and we do more." He used his Bar Mitzvah money to buy a PDA in order to stay "organized."  At 15 he was a regular reader of Entrepreneur and Success magazines. At 18 he was researching websites to best seek out truth in journalism.  Getting this text wasn't such a surprise.  My only concern was that he had pulled the car over to the side of the road before he wrote it. 
I digress...back to my story.  :)

NPR was discussing a longitudinal study from New Zealand (linked below) which suggests that self-control in young children can predict adult success, and that preschool children who struggle with self control are three times more likely to struggle as young adults.

These kinds of reports tend to make me nervous.  Why?  Because they tend to make parents anxious.  After reading this, some of you may worry that you are not giving your children enough opportunities to practice self control.  You may see your natually impulsive 3 year old daughter in a different light, worried that her inability to wait quietly in line at the grocery store may lead her to a life of crime and self-destruction.  Shhh, relax my friends.  It's all good.  Today's message is:

Young children are impulsive. 
It's on their job description, right under "curious and sometimes bossy to other siblings."

The role of the caregivers in the life of these children is to understand their levels of impulsivity and create environments that support them.  A few tips for you:

1.  Understand that children are able to sit and listen to you for a short period of time before they get bored.  Shorten the time you expect them to sit, or create a more active and exciting experience for them.

2.  When standing in line at the grocery store, remember that if they are busy, all is good!  Play little games, like "I am thinking of a color", or "can you find the book on the shelf with the number 4 on it?" or, my personal favorite "which celebrity on that magazine got a face lift?"   :)

3.  Offer your child opportunities to take care of themselves and others. When you come home from school, your child can give the dog his water before going to play. In the morning, 2 year olds can put their  jammies away and the pillows back on the bed.  At 3 you can add a little more to the list.  Challenging a 3 year old with making the bed, teeth brushing, getting dressed and coming to breakfast is too much to expect.  Pick one chore, teach it, allow them to succeed at it for a while, then add another.

Enjoy the article.  Remember you can post questions in the comment box.  However, if you prefer, you are always free to email me at playforaliving@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter:  playforaliving. 

Self Control and Kid's Success - NPR

Help Wanted: Kids with Creativity

Last spring, IBM ran a most impressive study of 1500 CEO's from 60 countries.  One of the key points identified from their study is that in order to compete in the world today - and tomorrow - our leaders will need a strong sense of creativity.  And they don't mean people who can color inside the lines.

From the study, we learned that creative leaders:

 

Creative leaders are higly innovative and use that to change business models.



Expect to make more new business model changes to realize their strategies

(Maybe this is the child who makes a birthday card by using scraps of paper, tearing and gluing and stapling and taping, all the while looking for things around the house that might help embellish the card as well.)

Are highly innovative and use that to change business models

(Possibly the 3 year old that appears to live in the block center.  He encourages his friends to join him in making a tower, but upon realizing (visioning) they don't have enough blocks, suggests they build a boat instead.)

Invite discruptive innovation, and invite others to join them

(Perhaps the preschooler who gets up during circle time to see the bird at the window, calls to their friends to join, and suggests they make an INSIDE bird feeder so the birds can come into the class.)

Are courageous and visonary enough to change the status quo

(Have you ever seen a boy in a pink tutu?)

I've attached the article for you. It's time to rethink how we teach our children.

IBM Global Study 2010

A lesson from Jeremy's Grampa's house

"... I have observed over and over again that young children who are intellectually engaged in worthwhile investigations, begin to ask for help in using academic skills- for example, writing and counting,-in the service of their intellectual goals.” ~ Lillian Katz

With all this discussion on how children learn, I thought you might want to see what it would look like in action. Below is a section from a book I am working on. In this letter, the director is writing to her lifelong mentor about an experience that happened in one of her 4 year old classrooms.

Dear Marci,

Wow, what a month! Mrs. W.’s class had a true emergent learning experience! From the initial interest right down to the documentation, every step was beautifully done! You are going to love this.

Jeremy Booker came back from winter break and told everyone about photos he found at his Grampa’s house. He brought one in for us. Turns out they were photos of the Northern Lights. The children started to get very excited about the idea of Northern Lights (since that’s the name of our school) and started talking all at once. Most of the children didn’t have any past experiences to draw from, but Leah told the class that her daddy saw the lights, too, before she was in mommy’s tummy. At this point, both Mrs. W. and her assistant Kaycee decided that this could be a pretty interesting course of study. Kaycee started writing things she overheard the children say in class, and Mrs. W. went straight to the reference library for some books. She shared the book Northern Lights A to Z by Mindy Dwyer. Afterwards, she asked for the “what do you know’. Here’s some of what they told her:

• It’s not really lights, but stars
• God colors them in before they fall
• They took the name from the school’s name (loved that one!)
• The clouds hold them until its time
• They are really rain
• Sometimes its purple or green or blue but never black. Black is nighttime.

Then Mrs. W. dropped the subject, and she and Kaycee simply watched the children over the next few hours. Jeremy took the book and began comparing the illustrations to the photo he’d brought.

Several of the children started to draw or paint their interpretation of the lights. Kaycee overheard the children talking about the lights in both the block area and dramatic play.

Based upon what she observed, Mrs. W. determined there was enough interest to continue the study. Emailing the staff and parents, she shared what happened, and asked for any ideas they might have. (yep, she asked the parents for ideas. I LOVE her! )

Then so many cool things happened:

The next day Mrs. W. brought in some flashlights. She showed them to the children and asked how they how they would like to use them. After they played with the on/off button for what seemed like forever, the children began to have questions. They wanted to know if they could make the beam of light that came from the flashlight a color other than white. They began to experiment by covering the light part with construction paper, paint, and tissue paper.

Devon’s dad brought in a telescope, which added an interest in looking at the sky. Some of the children wanted to make their own telescopes, so that became the next little project. Mrs. W. encouraged them to draw out their plans before building them, so the children designed their telescopes first. Their drawings were incredibly detailed.

The teachers decided that this would be a great time to observe and support the children’s play. They put aside their lesson plans and became facilitators. For example, in the block center, some of the boys were building a tower. They were focused on making it as high as possible. At one point, they had pulled a chair out and were about to stand on it. Kaycee asked them if they needed her help and they announced that they wanted to make their “ladder” bigger and take it outside so they could touch the lights when  they come back around. Building stopped while they discussed how far the sun and the sky were from the school. When the children determined that there were not enough blocks left in the room to make the ladder reach the sky, and that the ceiling was going to get in their way, they decided to go just try and make the ladder as long as they could. They took the project into the hall, and continued building!

Jeremy’s mom came in and explained that the lights are not really lights but particles from the sun that get trapped in the magnetic energy when they fall near the earth. The children were surprised that particles meant dust, and began speculating how the sun gets dust on it. “Is rain when the sun takes a tubby?” Great question!

Leah’s dad’s story made quite an impression on the children. He explained that he saw the lights when he was living in Montana, (which took the children on a little side study of the U.S. map.) He told them shared that he was walking down the street one night and was surprised by the lights up above. He said it looked like God was shaking a blanket of color over the sky. Someone asked him if he took a picture and he told them no but that he would remember it in his heart forever. Wow. Mrs. W. said the children simply stared at him and nodded their heads in understanding. After he left, some of the boys started showing each other how to shake a blanket to make the colors wave. Jason began making up stories of what he would do if he was walking all alone down the street. (Gotta love how some kids see different perspectives of a story!)

Prompted by this story, children wanted to make blankets of color. The weaving tool, which hardly gets any use, became a staple in the classroom, and we actually had to buy more loops!

Kaycee showed a few children that if they punched holes in a black sheet of construction paper and lifted it to the light, it looked a little like the night sky. This new idea was a winner with several children who practiced hole punching and scissor cutting. One child cut out a large portion of the black paper and decided to lay it on top of green paper to make the colored sky. All the children were excited about this and began to replicate her idea.

Leah’s mom brought in some crepe paper, and the children told Kaycee how to arrange it on the ceiling to make the colors “shake”.

One of the little girls asked if birds could get hurt when this happened….wow! Another question that needed research… (P.S. No.)

Teachers took and posted photos every day. They ran a slideshow on their computer so the children could revisit them whenever they wanted. They also put posters with some of the photos and representations along the hallway by their classroom so that rest of the school could share in their learning.

Marci, This process of discovery has gone on for almost 4 weeks! The classroom and the hallways look like an astronomy museum. There are paintings and drawings created with fingerpaints, paint brushes, crayons, markers, Qtips, and marbles. One child decided to use string to replicate the strands of light. The other teachers are now interested in doing this with their class. There’s a different, more powerful excitement around here! I think some people just needed to see it in order to believe it could. I am thrilled to bits. Can’t wait to see what happens next!

Don't Lower Your Expectations, Raise Your Acceptance!

Last night I facilitated a training for parents of preschoolers. The title, Juggling the Baby, the Brisket and the Boss, wasn't my idea, but it made for some great conversation nonetheless. Stressed parents came to the session hoping to learn how to be better and do more in what little time they had.

Here are a few of the points of discussion from last night's session.

Our stress as parents seems to stem from wanting what is best for our children, but  not exactly knowing how to do that. We listen to so many people yet have forgotten to listen to ourselves. Our children need time simply to be near, touch, or talk to us. Nothing fancy, just time. So why do we have them scheduled for back to back classes AFTER school?

In 25 years, many of our children will be working in jobs and in fields that have not yet been created. How do we prepare them for that?

When our babies were born, we were utterly head over heels in love with them. Nothing in the world could compare to that angel. Then, at one point we brought our son or daughter to a mommy and me group, and looked around at other 15-18 month olds who, all of a sudden appeared cuter, smarter and more talented than our little angel. When you start to compare your child to others, what happens to your perception of them? How does that perception affect your  parenting style? You are your child's mirror. What does he see now, on the ride home from mommy and me, that he didn't see earlier?

I think that sometimes the role of the preschool teacher is to help parents fall in love with their children again.

The 2 year old girl who lines up each raisin from the box before she eats it is having a great time on her own. Yet, why do so many parents feel compelled to stop her?  Is it because she is doing something quirky, something their friend's daughter never did, and they are embarrassed? Or is it becasue they are in a rush to get her to ballet class? Take a moment and watch her. She's happy. She's engaged. She's playing beautifully on her own. She's THINKING! Why stop her?

A parent shared that her 3 year old son doesn't listen to her. I asked her what she was asking of him. "Usual stuff", she said.  "Things like 'Show Bubbie what you learned in school, come count to 5 for Aunt Susie, show everyone what you did in art.'' I gave her a smile and told her that her shy son wasn't being rude, he was being honest. By "not listening" he was actually telling his mother something. Maybe she wasn't listening to him either. I asked her to think about what he loves to do. What makes him happy? How might she let him share that?

How cool would it be if we could just accept are children for who they are and what they love to do?  Is it possible to allow them to be honest versions of themselves? When you see that your 5 year old loves to dance and sing, do you lament that she wants to be the center of attention, or do you choose to celebrate that she has negotiated a way to communicate that suits her?  Build her a stage, make some popcorn, and let the show begin!

Well meaning parents and teachers are "pre-diagnosing" children as having ADD or ADHD because the children can't seem to pay attention in school. Why are these children unable to pay attention? For the most part, they are bored. No one is giving your 5 year old dancer the chance to move while she is learning. She's being told to sit and listen and focus. Children who are bored may feel stress because they what they really want to do is use their brains and participate. They will try anything to stimulate their minds. They might jump up impulsively in circle time or hit their friend over the head. To them, it's a call for help. Is that how the teacher sees it too?

(BTW, I just heard an interview with Natalie Portman who said all she wanted to do since she was a young child was act and perform and be the center of attention. Hmmm...your child could be onto something!)


How closely does your school match your child's interests and talents?

The Tiger Mother in Me

Amy Chua, author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, made headlines last week while promoting her style of parenting with an iron fist. Kudos to her for bringing attention to parenting issues, right or wrong.  Kudos to her for her marketing genius.  She'll sell more books than legos has blocks. My only hope is that parents don't see this as a "how to" guide, rather, they use it to generate their own ideas on what they will and will not do. 

All this attention got me thinking.  Was I a Tiger Mother?  Hardly. I was more like Crouching Kitty Hidden Puppy. You boys wanna turn the living room into a tent city? The sheets are in the closet. Looking to tie up your brother in preparation for a Houdini escape?  Here's some more rope. Don't wanna do your homework?  Frankly I don't blame you.  But I'll sit with you and keep you company if it helps.

When the boys were little, we were told they would grow to be at least 6'3". When I realized what that meant, I panicked for a moment. How was I going to raise these boys when I would have to stand on a chair just to see eye-to-eye? What if I sent them to their rooms and they decided to kill me instead? 
That's when we decided to focus on raising boys who were socially and emotionally competant, who were comfortable with who they were, and who would use their talents to contribute to society. 

My claws came out, don't get me wrong.  I think I even roared a few times.  But I didn't do so when when they were being themselves, I did it when they appeared to give up being themselves.  Now, at 6'5 and 6'3 respectively, Dan and Nick seem pretty comfortable in their skin, and, from what I know, have never contemplated assassination.

So far so good.

Now is the Time to Prepare Your Preschooler for College!

Ok, parents.  Here is the advice you have been waiting for.  The husband and wife team of Nicholas and Erika Christakis work with the students of a residential hall at Harvard College.  Erika is a former preschool director who is currently an ECE teacher, and Nicholas is a professor of medicine and sociology at Harvard.  Together they share their rationale of learning through play.

Advice from Harvard

Simon Says PLAY!

  From The New York Times last week:

"For several years, studies and statistics have been mounting that suggest the culture of play in the United States is vanishing. Children spend far too much time in front of a screen, educators and parents lament - 7 hours 38 minutes a day on average, according to a survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation last year....Children learn to control their impulses through games like Simon Says, play advocates believe, and they learn to solve problems, negotiate, think creatively and work as a team when they dig together in a sandbox or build a fort with sofa cushions".

Play is making a comeback.  New initiatives are heading your way.  Take a moment to read this article, then go have some fun with your kids!

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/garden/06play.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=children%20and%20play&st=cse