Raising Children with Self Control

I recieved this text the other day from my son Dan:  "NPR is talking about the importance of self control in preschoolers."  Gotta love my son. From the time he was 4 he wanted to be president.  At 6 he told his teacher that instead of making 1 paper apple for the class tree he wanted to make 5.  He told her "I'm a Jensen, and we do more." He used his Bar Mitzvah money to buy a PDA in order to stay "organized."  At 15 he was a regular reader of Entrepreneur and Success magazines. At 18 he was researching websites to best seek out truth in journalism.  Getting this text wasn't such a surprise.  My only concern was that he had pulled the car over to the side of the road before he wrote it. 
I digress...back to my story.  :)

NPR was discussing a longitudinal study from New Zealand (linked below) which suggests that self-control in young children can predict adult success, and that preschool children who struggle with self control are three times more likely to struggle as young adults.

These kinds of reports tend to make me nervous.  Why?  Because they tend to make parents anxious.  After reading this, some of you may worry that you are not giving your children enough opportunities to practice self control.  You may see your natually impulsive 3 year old daughter in a different light, worried that her inability to wait quietly in line at the grocery store may lead her to a life of crime and self-destruction.  Shhh, relax my friends.  It's all good.  Today's message is:

Young children are impulsive. 
It's on their job description, right under "curious and sometimes bossy to other siblings."

The role of the caregivers in the life of these children is to understand their levels of impulsivity and create environments that support them.  A few tips for you:

1.  Understand that children are able to sit and listen to you for a short period of time before they get bored.  Shorten the time you expect them to sit, or create a more active and exciting experience for them.

2.  When standing in line at the grocery store, remember that if they are busy, all is good!  Play little games, like "I am thinking of a color", or "can you find the book on the shelf with the number 4 on it?" or, my personal favorite "which celebrity on that magazine got a face lift?"   :)

3.  Offer your child opportunities to take care of themselves and others. When you come home from school, your child can give the dog his water before going to play. In the morning, 2 year olds can put their  jammies away and the pillows back on the bed.  At 3 you can add a little more to the list.  Challenging a 3 year old with making the bed, teeth brushing, getting dressed and coming to breakfast is too much to expect.  Pick one chore, teach it, allow them to succeed at it for a while, then add another.

Enjoy the article.  Remember you can post questions in the comment box.  However, if you prefer, you are always free to email me at playforaliving@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter:  playforaliving. 

Self Control and Kid's Success - NPR